She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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