i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
OPIZZABONMYDICK
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
