I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
