i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
