it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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