next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
