Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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