Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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