I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
