how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
