ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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