....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize