Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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