Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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