the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
