I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
and you fell through a lawn chair
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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