I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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