The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
