I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Randomize
