sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
