Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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