just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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