There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
How naked do you want me to be?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
