There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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