My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
