gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
