I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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