I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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