she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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