Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
