I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize