Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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