What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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