i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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