pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
