Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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