the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
