I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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