Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
No subtext here. People are naked.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
