a queef is a wish your heart makes.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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