yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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