Say something about gay babies.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
