He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
