Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
