More tranny stories later!
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
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