Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I supernannyed him into submission
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
