is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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