I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
