I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Randomize
