I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
