guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
