Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
