home. puking in laundry basket.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize