Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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