There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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