im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
