i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
