Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
