Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
