they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
