I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
