Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
