I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize