This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
