Pregnant stripper...not hot.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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