Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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