I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize