Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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