is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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