everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
