I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
