I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
