my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Semen is not good for contacts.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
