i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize