i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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